


Loyalty

by mithrel



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Blanket Permission, M/M, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-20
Updated: 2009-09-20
Packaged: 2017-11-10 09:17:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/464671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin confronts Arthur about how he treated him. Episode tag for 2x01, “The Curse of Cornelius Sigan."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loyalty

Merlin brought Arthur’s breakfast the first morning he was back in his old position with a feeling of resentment. Yes, Arthur had apologised as much as he ever did, and normally Merlin would accept that, but not after the way Arthur had treated him this time.

“Did you polish my armour?” Arthur asked as he set the tray down.

“Yes, sire.”

He stood watching Arthur until he looked up. “Was there something else?”

“Yes. We need to talk.”

“About what?” Arthur asked, fiddling with his knife.

“Cedric.”

Arthur refused to look at him. “He’s dead, Merlin, what does it matter?”

“What does it matter? What does it _matter?!_ ” Merlin repeated incredulously. “Arthur, you treated me like shit!” He’d never treated Merlin like that, even when he’d first come to Camelot. The closest was when he was ensorcelled and then he’d had an excuse. This was just him. All Merlin had ever done was be loyal to Arthur, and he didn’t deserve that.

“I said I was sorry!”

“No you didn’t! You said you needed someone to clean your armour!”

Arthur opened his mouth, but Merlin wasn’t finished. “For God’s sake, Arthur, you’ve been at court since you could walk, you should know what it looks like when someone’s trying to curry favour, especially when they’re so obvious about it!”

“But you kept making mistakes!” Arthur yelled over him.

“Yes, I did keep making mistakes. And even you knew that was unusual. Isn’t it an unbelievable coincidence that when someone else wants to be your manservant I suddenly start doing everything wrong? It was him! He was trying to poison you against me and it worked!”

“I…he saved my life!”

“No he didn’t! He just took credit for someone else’s actions!” This was an especial thorn in his side. He was used to not getting the credit for saving Arthur’s life, but it was one thing to give the credit to Gaius or Will, and quite another for a weasel like Cedric to take it.

“Then who did?” Arthur demanded.

“ _I_ did!”

Arthur looked at him not so much with scepticism as with disbelief. “You. Killed a wild boar.”

“You know what, never mind. If you preferred him as your manservant, that’s fine.”

“I didn’t!” Arthur burst out. “I didn’t want him, I wanted _you_ , but I couldn’t keep you when you were doing everything wrong!”

Merlin stared at him. That phrasing… There had always been something under the surface between them, but neither of them had ever acknowledged it. “You have me.”

Arthur sighed. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “He was using me, and I didn’t see it.”

“It’s alright.” It wasn’t, but it had happened, and he’d have to deal with it.

“No. It’s not. You’re right. I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

“Why did you?” That was the thing that made no sense–Arthur knew he was loyal, but he’d passed him over for Cedric anyway.

“Because…he was safe.”

“ _Safe!?_ He was completely untrustworthy!”

“But I didn’t _care_ about him!” Arthur stopped, his mouth hanging open, then closed his eyes and grimaced.

“And you care about me.”

It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t expect an answer. Arthur didn’t admit it when he cared about people, at least not directly. This was as much as he was going to get.

“Yes,” Arthur said, looking straight at him.

Merlin floundered. “You…care about me so you cast me aside in favour of someone you don’t care about, making me miserable in the process?”

Arthur winced. “I’m…sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, just explain it to me!”

“I care about you too much.” _Now_ Arthur was staring at the table, and Merlin thought he was beginning to understand.

“You don’t want to care about me.”

“No!” Arthur said, his head jerking up. “I…I can’t afford to. I’m the Prince, I have responsibilities…and besides, you wouldn’t…”

“Wouldn’t what?” _Wouldn’t care about him? Is he_ mad?

Arthur didn’t answer.

“I wouldn’t care about you.”

Arthur nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“But I do,”

Arthur looked at him, uncertain, as Merlin approached the table. He could be misreading this–Arthur could have him executed, but he found he didn’t care. He'd thought he’d lost Arthur forever, and he had to do this.

When he leaned down and kissed Arthur, Arthur froze, then kissed him back.

It was a slow kiss, still uncertain, despite everything that had led up to it. When they finally broke apart, Merlin repeated, “You have me. For as long as you want me.”


End file.
